Routines

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

During the past year and a half of pandemic life, we’ve all developed new routines—or a lack thereof. Recently a common topic coming up in many conversations (both with clients and in personal relationships) is how to adjust routines now that life is 'opening up' more. 

Some people are struggling with the reality of adjusting the routines they have grown used to over the past year and a half. Maybe it’s remembering how much time you need in the morning to get ready and commute to the office to resume working in person. Or perhaps it’s finding time to be able to go back to your favorite gym now that it is open again. For others it can be a new routine of leaving the house, after many months of cautiously staying home due to understandable concern of the virus. 

In all of these conversations I’m having there is another common thread—trying to identify "healthy routines." We are realizing as we are coming out of pandemic life that there may be new routines we need to create and some we need to leave behind.

For human beings, routines can be extremely beneficial. They allow us to take care of tasks and to do’s in a planned and thoughtful manner. They can create time for physical wellbeing such as exercise or preparing a meal. Even more than this, studies at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine have shown that individuals who have daily routines can help alleviate symptoms of bipolar disorder, especially when that routine includes consistent sleeping and eating patterns. 

Many of us know the benefit of routines, yet we can often feel stuck in identifying how to create new ones that will be helpful and healthy. Below are some ideas to help you think through ways you can begin to build routines:

Start Small: Pick a small routine that you can begin to change or create. Maybe you want to drink more water throughout the day to avoid the dreaded mid day headache, so your goal is to drink a glass of water with breakfast. Maybe you would like to read more so you begin by reading a couple pages while you wait for dinner to cook. Perhaps you’d like to go back to the instrument you used to play, so you build in a 10 minute jam session after you brush your teeth. Smaller changes to routines are easier to sustain and build on.

Stack Your Habits: As described above, you can begin to build routines by adding to what you already do every day (eating, drinking, brushing teeth, etc).

Try To Identify Enjoyable Routines: Certainly there are "adulting" routines that we all need to have, but it is also valuable to identify routines that bring you joy (music, hobbies, nature, reading, social time, etc). This can be a great boost to your mental health. 

Missing A Day Is Okay: Many of us get sucked into "all or nothing" thinking, so if we miss a day of our routine we can then perpetuate that experience and feel like it is pointless to try to resume what we were working on. Being aware of this tendency and showing grace to yourself when you don’t stick to your routine is important. Tell yourself it’s ok and then try to resume, starting small again if you have to.

When Sleep Won't Come

Written by Day Marshall, LMHC (Senior Clinician)

Have you had those nights when sleep is evasive? When you shift in bed and adjust your pillow, throwing off or adding on layers of cover? Apart from general, good sleep hygiene practices such as keeping a regular sleep schedule, setting the tone for sleep with lighting and calming activities, sometimes it can feel like there is little to be done when our minds keep wandering once the lights go out. Based on what clients often tell me, I think that often the anxiety of not falling asleep is the primary culprit keeping us awake.

While there are numerous ways to help increase the ability to sleep, I want to introduce you to one method that is a favorite of mine.

Our brains are remarkably made and incredibly adaptive. Every sensation we experience, be it sound, sight, taste, smell or touch, is communicated to us by our brains. Therefore, if my brain is thinking about stressors, my body will naturally tense up and likely go into problem-solving or worry mode.  However, if I focus my mind on the most serene and relaxing environment I can imagine, my whole body begins to relax. Using anti-anxiety grounding techniques when lying in bed can provide relaxing, sleep-inducing benefits.

I like to begin with deep breathing; long, slow, full breaths and exhales. While I deep breathe, I begin to visualize myself in a relaxing place. I’ll share mine with you, but you’ll need to get your own because my place is relaxing because no one else is around for miles!  My serene place is a warm beach with pristine sands devoid of all bugs and the only human is me.  I lie on my back facing up toward the perfectly warm sun. I feel the gentle give of the sun warmed sand beneath my body. I can drag my fingers over it and dig my fingers into it and feel the cool under the surface. The gentle ocean breeze dances over my skin and I can feel it on my face and on my arms and legs. The trees around the beach quietly rustle their leaves in response to that wind, and there are myriad birds singing in chorus high in the trees. I listen to the waves coming in and going out; a gentle, reliable rhythm. I can taste the mixed sweet and tang of watermelon and pineapple. There is a crackling campfire burning in the near distance. I smell the wood burning as it mixes with the salt air. I am still deep breathing and taking in all the sensory wonders of the beach serenity. If my mind begins to pull away to a worry or stressor, I gently but firmly draw it back to the sensory experience of the beach. The smells, the sounds, the sights, the feel and the tastes of my beach retreat become weightier than the worries and stress that it lulled away. In the midst of all of this, sleep generally comes quietly.

Sleep well!

Eyes on the Prize

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

Have you ever set a goal and then struggled to remain focused? Or felt like the goal was so far away it was unattainable and so you were less motivated? I was recently listening to an interview with psychologist Emily Balcetis who studied how our brains can use our visual system to shape our behavior. In other words, what we visualize can help change our behaviors and motivation. 

Balcetis discussed a study where they had participants go on a walk. Some were told to focus on a stop sign up ahead, while others were not. Those who focused on the stop sign felt that the finish line of the walk was closer than those who did not. More than that, those keeping their focus on the stop sign finished the walk faster than the other group and also exerted less energy doing so. The conclusion was that the illusion of proximity motivated the participants to walk faster without realizing it. This is a common practice among elite athletes, who often train to break things down into smaller chunks, like Michael Phelps counting breaststrokes or marathon runners identifying visual cues for their runs. 

But what happens if your goal is something you can’t tangibly visualize? Balcetis highlighted another study in which they talked to young people about retirement. Most young people had not yet considered retirement since it seemed so far off, but when the conductors of the study presented them with pictures of themselves photoshopped to look older, the young people began to engage and express interest in talking about options for retirement plans. This 'materializing' of something abstract can help make things more tangible to 'visualize' and focus on.

When applied to our day-to-day life, this research can be game changing. Maybe there are tangible goals you can 'see' like the example of walking while keeping your eyes fixed on a goal up ahead. But maybe there are things you are working towards that are more abstract. Are there ways you can be creative about 'materializing' a visual component? Making it more concrete? Maybe it is putting a sticky note with your goal or area of change written out on it and placing it somewhere you will see regularly. Or perhaps it is setting reminders to pop up in your calendar and keep you oriented towards your goal. Another idea is to engage your creative side and draw a picture of what you visualize the end result will be.

All of this also reminds me of the Christian life, of pressing forward to Jesus. The Bible speaks in a similar way about keeping our eyes on the the end goal:

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 3:14 ESV)

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”  (Colossians 3:2 ESV)

Cultivating Gratitude

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

"We’re a nation hungry for more joy: Because we’re starving from a lack of gratitude" — Brené Brown

Have you ever had a day where it seems that the world is against you and everything that could possibly go wrong has? If you were to step back and try to assess the day from an objective point of view, would that still be your conclusion? In our human nature, we tend to reflect on the negative, the frustrating, the disappointing. We wonder why we feel grumpy, angry, or irritable and often look for detailed, extravagant, sometimes expensive ways to help ourselves feel better. Yet the antidote to our lack of joy can often be found in the simple practice of gratitude. This practice of gratitude is one that is accessible to all yet rarely used in day-to-day life without intentionality.

Numerous studies have found gratitude to have significant positive impacts on anxiety, depressive symptoms, relationships, and physical health and well being. In their study, Wood et al had participants practice gratitude, which was defined as an orientation "towards noticing and appreciating the positive in the world.” In one portion of the study, they asked participants with high body dissatisfaction to spend each day practicing gratitude. By doing so 76% of the participants experienced a reduction in their body dissatisfaction compared to those who did not practice gratitude. Similarly, when studying those with high anxiety, participants who practiced gratitude were found to have a significant decrease in their worries (Wood, Froh & Geraghty, “Gratitude and Well-Being: A Review and Theoretical Integration,” Clinical Psychology Review). 

Martin Seligman, a professor of psychology, has found similar results in his research as well. In his studies he developed one practice called a "gratitude visit" in which one writes a letter of gratitude to someone who has made a difference in their life and then visits the person and reads the letter to them out loud. In doing so, Seligman found that the person writing the letter had lasting positive feelings and felt happier up to a month after the visit. 

Are there ways you can begin cultivating gratitude in your own life? Perhaps you can try Seligman’s exercise of a "gratitude visit." If this feels too uncomfortable, as an alternative you could consider writing a thank you note to someone you appreciate. Other ideas might be to end the day reflecting on three things to be grateful for, no matter how difficult the day was. Some find ways to break up their day to pause and gratefully reflect, such as "1,2,3,4" where at each hour you stop to identify a moment of gratitude. For those who pray, starting prayer with gratitude first can be a helpful way to reorient to a mindset of thankfulness rather than the frenzy of supplication we often approach prayer with. 

The ultimate goal in cultivating gratitude is for it to become second nature, a natural reflection throughout the day. Realizing that you are grateful for the sunlight even if the weather is cold, that you are thankful your spouse helped with dishes even if it’s not how you would do it, that you had a great hair day even if nobody else saw it. You may find that over time you have retrained your brain to become more aware of positive moments, however seemingly mundane they may be.

(Scriptures that may be helpful to orient towards a reminder of gratitude and thanksgiving: Psalm 100, Psalm 118: 24, Psalm 103:2-5, Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Back to Basics

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

We are three weeks into 2021. Take a moment to check in with yourself—how are you doing? How are you feeling? Some of us may be maintaining a sense of hope that 2021 will be better than last year. For others we’re feeling discouraged, anxious, and frustrated with how the past three weeks have been. Perhaps you made goals or resolutions that now feel futile. Maybe the ongoing winter and pandemic is leading to further feelings of isolation, sadness, and worry.

Use this moment to pause, to assess, to reset. What do you need? What can help? 

Part of my training as a Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider (CMHIMP) is to look at health and healing from a wholistic approach. In sessions, I like to help clients try to reorient around ways to care for themselves in addition to addressing their emotional needs. The mind-body connection is often overlooked when trying to find ways to manage stressors, yet this connection is so crucial. Physical and emotional health are inextricably linked. In turn, if we have a hard time supporting or managing our emotions, sometimes we can reinforce self care from a different approach, by attending to ourselves physically.

Amidst ongoing challenges and stressors, here are three things you can do today to help support yourself physically:

Move Your Body

When was the last time you stood up? Stretched? Went for a walk? Danced around the house? Moving your body can help reduce stress through blood flow and increased oxygen. Movement benefits brain function—the center of our thoughts and emotions—creating new brain cells and synapses. Moving your body doesn’t have to be an elaborate goal or ordeal. It can be standing up every hour to do a few stretches or jumping jacks. It can be something fun like putting on your favorite song and dancing for a few minutes; in fact, dancing has been found to tone the vagal nerve (a cranial nerve that connects the brain to the body), thus helping reduce stress and anxiety. 

Fuel Your Body

Are you giving your body the nutrients it needs, bringing awareness to hunger cues and appetites? For many, pandemic life has disrupted routines even at a basic level such as meals. Can you put more intentionality into fueling your body nutritionally? For example, foods rich in protein are made up of amino acids needed to create neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin which helps us feel good.

Rest Your Body

Lack of proper sleep is widely known to contribute to negative moods and emotions, often increasing irritability and stress. On the flip side, sufficient sleep enhances positive moods and overall wellbeing. In our modern life sleep often becomes the first thing we chip away at in the ever busy endeavor to fit more into a day. The average person needs 7-9 hours of sleep each night in order to get the proper physical, emotional, and mental rest needed—how are you doing with this? Can you adjust your schedule to support yourself in getting enough sleep each night? Small adjustments such as going to bed 30 minutes earlier can make a large difference in improving sleep habits, thus benefiting your body holistically.

Why I Make My Bed Every Day

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

When I was a kid, it was hit or miss whether or not I would make my bed. Oftentimes the driving force behind a made bed was my parents' reminding. This was in turn sometimes met with a sarcastic comment, “Why, I’ll just get in it again?!" Into my teenage years, I started to make my bed more often because I liked the aesthetic. While working over the summer cleaning houses, one of my responsibilities was to make the beds and to make them look like a swanky hotel. I liked the look and started to replicate it at home. By time I made it to college, making the bed was essential. Space in my dorm room was all the space I had to study, hang out with people, and grab an occasional meal.

Since then, through the ever-busyness of life, I began to realize how this simple task impacted me. It was more than the aesthetic; it was the sense of feeling unfrazzled, unrushed, and productive. I realized that, in the mornings when I took a few minutes to make my bed, I felt more grounded, more prepared with a sense of determination for the day ahead.  Its a way to signal to myself that the night is over (no matter how tired I may still be!) and that a new day is beginning. It gives me a moment to pause, to create order, to refresh. Sometimes while I make the bed I find myself becoming aware that I’m unconsciously giving myself a little pep talk for the day ahead. Preparing for potential stressors, reminding myself that I can handle things even if they are messy, just as I am tidying up this messy bed.

In 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven gave a commencement speech at the University of Texas at Austin which went viral with millions of views. It contained the premise, "If you want to make a difference in the world, start by making your bed." The thrust of his speech: taking small steps and accomplishing small tasks leads to a sense of pride, helping you work towards another task and another and another. In the end, you realize that small habits matter as they support larger habits. Similarly, in his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg notes that making your bed every day becomes a habit that can lead to further positive decisions over the day and a determined sense of taking charge. Over time these habits instill a confidence in taking charge that leads to a stronger skillset in tackling other important habits. 

So, do you make your bed? Can you spare a few minutes to orient yourself with a sense of pride and productivity? 

Now to be clear: this doesn’t necessarily mean that your bed is made perfectly. There are plenty of days mine is thrown together quickly before I'm on to the next thing. Nor is there any magic to this. Just because I make my bed doesn’t mean I am able to successfully accomplish everything in the day ahead. There are days when I make my bed with a real sense of motivation only to have the day end feeling unproductive with many tasks left undone. But on those days I still have an inviting, intentionally made bed to climb into to close out the day and prepare for the next one.