Routines

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

During the past year and a half of pandemic life, we’ve all developed new routines—or a lack thereof. Recently a common topic coming up in many conversations (both with clients and in personal relationships) is how to adjust routines now that life is 'opening up' more. 

Some people are struggling with the reality of adjusting the routines they have grown used to over the past year and a half. Maybe it’s remembering how much time you need in the morning to get ready and commute to the office to resume working in person. Or perhaps it’s finding time to be able to go back to your favorite gym now that it is open again. For others it can be a new routine of leaving the house, after many months of cautiously staying home due to understandable concern of the virus. 

In all of these conversations I’m having there is another common thread—trying to identify "healthy routines." We are realizing as we are coming out of pandemic life that there may be new routines we need to create and some we need to leave behind.

For human beings, routines can be extremely beneficial. They allow us to take care of tasks and to do’s in a planned and thoughtful manner. They can create time for physical wellbeing such as exercise or preparing a meal. Even more than this, studies at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine have shown that individuals who have daily routines can help alleviate symptoms of bipolar disorder, especially when that routine includes consistent sleeping and eating patterns. 

Many of us know the benefit of routines, yet we can often feel stuck in identifying how to create new ones that will be helpful and healthy. Below are some ideas to help you think through ways you can begin to build routines:

Start Small: Pick a small routine that you can begin to change or create. Maybe you want to drink more water throughout the day to avoid the dreaded mid day headache, so your goal is to drink a glass of water with breakfast. Maybe you would like to read more so you begin by reading a couple pages while you wait for dinner to cook. Perhaps you’d like to go back to the instrument you used to play, so you build in a 10 minute jam session after you brush your teeth. Smaller changes to routines are easier to sustain and build on.

Stack Your Habits: As described above, you can begin to build routines by adding to what you already do every day (eating, drinking, brushing teeth, etc).

Try To Identify Enjoyable Routines: Certainly there are "adulting" routines that we all need to have, but it is also valuable to identify routines that bring you joy (music, hobbies, nature, reading, social time, etc). This can be a great boost to your mental health. 

Missing A Day Is Okay: Many of us get sucked into "all or nothing" thinking, so if we miss a day of our routine we can then perpetuate that experience and feel like it is pointless to try to resume what we were working on. Being aware of this tendency and showing grace to yourself when you don’t stick to your routine is important. Tell yourself it’s ok and then try to resume, starting small again if you have to.

Too Many Bath Mats

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

The other week I found myself in need of a new bath mat. I decided to search online for this purchase—as one does in pandemic times—and what should have been a 5 minute task turned into a 45 minute ordeal. I quickly found myself down a rabbit trail of questions I had never thought about in previous years of buying the occasional bath mat. Here’s how some of those thoughts went: 

"Well this bath mat is cheaper but this more expensive bath mat has more suction cups…how many suction cups are enough suction cups? Should I get the one with big suction cups or little suction cups?…This one has 1,000 4.5 star reviews but this one has 6,000 4 star reviews. Which is better? This review says the mat had a strong plasticky smell…what kind of plastic is this made out of anyways? *searches Google for different types of plastic and toxicity levels*…should I even have a bath mat? Is it dangerous? Do I need to ventilate it before I use it?…"

As I began to catch myself in this spiral of thoughts, I was reminded of the book The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. In his book Schwartz argues that, rather than being helpful, having too many of choices can lead to feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed in making a decision. This "analysis paralysis" results from spending too much time analyzing all of the possible choices we are faced with which then leads us to feeling stuck, often taking a longer time to make a decision than needed.

Not only that but once we do finally make a decision we frequently then experience regret with the decision we made. Because we are faced with so many choices we begin to think that there must be a "perfect" choice to make, and so when we experience disappointment with our decision we assume we chose incorrectly. Studies show us that when we have less choices to pick from we often feel more satisfied in the final choice we make.

So how can we apply some of this information to our day to day life? Well, as a starting point you could try to identify ways to reduce the number of choices you make. Maybe it’s deciding to shop at the same grocery store and buy the same brands each week regardless of what ads you see that might tell you otherwise. Perhaps it is deciding to go to the restaurant with the smaller menu to choose from. Maybe you minimize your wardrobe a la Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs and wear the same type of clothing every day. In identifying small ways to reduce choice each day you might find an increase in your satisfaction of choice and a decrease in time spent making decisions.

Oh and yes, I did buy a bath mat :)

Eyes on the Prize

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

Have you ever set a goal and then struggled to remain focused? Or felt like the goal was so far away it was unattainable and so you were less motivated? I was recently listening to an interview with psychologist Emily Balcetis who studied how our brains can use our visual system to shape our behavior. In other words, what we visualize can help change our behaviors and motivation. 

Balcetis discussed a study where they had participants go on a walk. Some were told to focus on a stop sign up ahead, while others were not. Those who focused on the stop sign felt that the finish line of the walk was closer than those who did not. More than that, those keeping their focus on the stop sign finished the walk faster than the other group and also exerted less energy doing so. The conclusion was that the illusion of proximity motivated the participants to walk faster without realizing it. This is a common practice among elite athletes, who often train to break things down into smaller chunks, like Michael Phelps counting breaststrokes or marathon runners identifying visual cues for their runs. 

But what happens if your goal is something you can’t tangibly visualize? Balcetis highlighted another study in which they talked to young people about retirement. Most young people had not yet considered retirement since it seemed so far off, but when the conductors of the study presented them with pictures of themselves photoshopped to look older, the young people began to engage and express interest in talking about options for retirement plans. This 'materializing' of something abstract can help make things more tangible to 'visualize' and focus on.

When applied to our day-to-day life, this research can be game changing. Maybe there are tangible goals you can 'see' like the example of walking while keeping your eyes fixed on a goal up ahead. But maybe there are things you are working towards that are more abstract. Are there ways you can be creative about 'materializing' a visual component? Making it more concrete? Maybe it is putting a sticky note with your goal or area of change written out on it and placing it somewhere you will see regularly. Or perhaps it is setting reminders to pop up in your calendar and keep you oriented towards your goal. Another idea is to engage your creative side and draw a picture of what you visualize the end result will be.

All of this also reminds me of the Christian life, of pressing forward to Jesus. The Bible speaks in a similar way about keeping our eyes on the the end goal:

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 3:14 ESV)

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”  (Colossians 3:2 ESV)

Why I Make My Bed Every Day

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

When I was a kid, it was hit or miss whether or not I would make my bed. Oftentimes the driving force behind a made bed was my parents' reminding. This was in turn sometimes met with a sarcastic comment, “Why, I’ll just get in it again?!" Into my teenage years, I started to make my bed more often because I liked the aesthetic. While working over the summer cleaning houses, one of my responsibilities was to make the beds and to make them look like a swanky hotel. I liked the look and started to replicate it at home. By time I made it to college, making the bed was essential. Space in my dorm room was all the space I had to study, hang out with people, and grab an occasional meal.

Since then, through the ever-busyness of life, I began to realize how this simple task impacted me. It was more than the aesthetic; it was the sense of feeling unfrazzled, unrushed, and productive. I realized that, in the mornings when I took a few minutes to make my bed, I felt more grounded, more prepared with a sense of determination for the day ahead.  Its a way to signal to myself that the night is over (no matter how tired I may still be!) and that a new day is beginning. It gives me a moment to pause, to create order, to refresh. Sometimes while I make the bed I find myself becoming aware that I’m unconsciously giving myself a little pep talk for the day ahead. Preparing for potential stressors, reminding myself that I can handle things even if they are messy, just as I am tidying up this messy bed.

In 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven gave a commencement speech at the University of Texas at Austin which went viral with millions of views. It contained the premise, "If you want to make a difference in the world, start by making your bed." The thrust of his speech: taking small steps and accomplishing small tasks leads to a sense of pride, helping you work towards another task and another and another. In the end, you realize that small habits matter as they support larger habits. Similarly, in his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg notes that making your bed every day becomes a habit that can lead to further positive decisions over the day and a determined sense of taking charge. Over time these habits instill a confidence in taking charge that leads to a stronger skillset in tackling other important habits. 

So, do you make your bed? Can you spare a few minutes to orient yourself with a sense of pride and productivity? 

Now to be clear: this doesn’t necessarily mean that your bed is made perfectly. There are plenty of days mine is thrown together quickly before I'm on to the next thing. Nor is there any magic to this. Just because I make my bed doesn’t mean I am able to successfully accomplish everything in the day ahead. There are days when I make my bed with a real sense of motivation only to have the day end feeling unproductive with many tasks left undone. But on those days I still have an inviting, intentionally made bed to climb into to close out the day and prepare for the next one.