Routines

Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)

During the past year and a half of pandemic life, we’ve all developed new routines—or a lack thereof. Recently a common topic coming up in many conversations (both with clients and in personal relationships) is how to adjust routines now that life is 'opening up' more. 

Some people are struggling with the reality of adjusting the routines they have grown used to over the past year and a half. Maybe it’s remembering how much time you need in the morning to get ready and commute to the office to resume working in person. Or perhaps it’s finding time to be able to go back to your favorite gym now that it is open again. For others it can be a new routine of leaving the house, after many months of cautiously staying home due to understandable concern of the virus. 

In all of these conversations I’m having there is another common thread—trying to identify "healthy routines." We are realizing as we are coming out of pandemic life that there may be new routines we need to create and some we need to leave behind.

For human beings, routines can be extremely beneficial. They allow us to take care of tasks and to do’s in a planned and thoughtful manner. They can create time for physical wellbeing such as exercise or preparing a meal. Even more than this, studies at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine have shown that individuals who have daily routines can help alleviate symptoms of bipolar disorder, especially when that routine includes consistent sleeping and eating patterns. 

Many of us know the benefit of routines, yet we can often feel stuck in identifying how to create new ones that will be helpful and healthy. Below are some ideas to help you think through ways you can begin to build routines:

Start Small: Pick a small routine that you can begin to change or create. Maybe you want to drink more water throughout the day to avoid the dreaded mid day headache, so your goal is to drink a glass of water with breakfast. Maybe you would like to read more so you begin by reading a couple pages while you wait for dinner to cook. Perhaps you’d like to go back to the instrument you used to play, so you build in a 10 minute jam session after you brush your teeth. Smaller changes to routines are easier to sustain and build on.

Stack Your Habits: As described above, you can begin to build routines by adding to what you already do every day (eating, drinking, brushing teeth, etc).

Try To Identify Enjoyable Routines: Certainly there are "adulting" routines that we all need to have, but it is also valuable to identify routines that bring you joy (music, hobbies, nature, reading, social time, etc). This can be a great boost to your mental health. 

Missing A Day Is Okay: Many of us get sucked into "all or nothing" thinking, so if we miss a day of our routine we can then perpetuate that experience and feel like it is pointless to try to resume what we were working on. Being aware of this tendency and showing grace to yourself when you don’t stick to your routine is important. Tell yourself it’s ok and then try to resume, starting small again if you have to.

The New Normal

Written by Dan Brown, MA (Director of Operations, Senior Clinician)

The pandemic has been difficult.  But one of the biggest things that the pandemic has taken from us all is a sense of normal. Normal birthday parties, normal dinners out with loved ones, normal soccer games.  Normal.  

But as we return to normal we have to realize that we will not be fully ourselves either.  Over the course of the last year, we have regressed or adapted to the restrictions or just flat out avoided people using the pandemic as a convenient excuse.  We have been socially conditioned.  We might find ourselves feeling awkward or have heightened anxiety anytime there is a group gathering on our calendars.

Or maybe you’re someone who has some codependent tendencies and are anxious to be around anxious people.  When I say codependent tendencies I mean you might be one that always wonders how you’re being perceived in a group and will ruminate for hours/days on how a social situation went.  So social situations seem like something you’d like to pass on for another year or ten.

Or maybe you’re someone who has used the pandemic to avoid people that seek to control you or overburden you.  And you can see these types of people from a mile away and when you are around them you start to get a knot in your stomach.  Potentially now after the pandemic those people became even more controlling and more overburdening.  I am sure this last year has been better for you getting a year long break from these types of interactions.  

The reality is that life is going to go back to what we remembered as normal. Schools, churches, work places and the like.  So what is next for you in these settings?  Do you just return to those old ways?  As a mental health provider I see this as a unique time in human history to make big strides in your ongoing social anxieties because you’ve had such a big pause in exposure to them.  You might be able to identify people that are just flat out unhealthy for you to be around and might consider not being around them as much.  Or you might be able to draw some boundaries with people that you weren’t able to draw boundaries with before because you’ve had a little distance with them and free from their manipulations.  And for those people that seek to control you or overburden you, you might now for the first time be able to say stop, no more.  

Our society needs friendship.  Our society needs grace in those friendships.  Our society needs positive social interactions that allow people to be “off” and not our best.  Our society needs normal again.  

Good thing Jesus continues to be seated and the right hand of God the Father living in perfect unity, in perfect friendship with the Father and the Holy Spirit.  There is no overburdening of the other going on there.  No guilt tripping going on in the Godhead.  They see the end of this and allowed the beginning of it to happen.  And I believe they want people to start being normal again too.

Mental health starts with realizing your own mental unhealth.  Then you can move to make a change with your therapist and then realize those changes with friends, family and those around you in your community. We all have our weaknesses.  But we don’t all admit those weaknesses.  I am proud you have admitted yours or are starting to admit yours and are ready to make changes.  Maybe you will not just return to normal but to a new normal.  

Survival Skills

Written by Matt Warren, LMHC MDIV (Executive Director, Senior Clinician)

The overlapping national crises of this year have taken a massive toll on the mental health of our communities.  Recent reports indicate that roughly 40% of Americans have experienced symptoms of depression, anxiety, and/or increased substance abuse since April and that the prevalence of such has more than tripled during the COVID-19 pandemic as compared to previous years.  Demand for mental health services has skyrocketed at roughly the same pace, leaving providers stretched beyond capacity and still just barely scratching the surface of these seemingly inexhaustible needs.

This has certainly been the case at Harbor during the past six months.  We are privileged to be able to serve our community at such a critical time and with higher volume than ever before.  At the same time, it has also been a uniquely taxing and heavy season for our staff.  Mental health providers are, in many ways, serving as “front line workers” amidst this particular aspect of our current crises.  As human beings, they are faced with all the same stressors and hardships as most people during this time, while, as therapists, they are also called to carry the overwhelming burdens of a wide range of people afflicted in a wide range of ways by these very same circumstances and to do that with absolute steadiness and compassion. To complicate things further, the boundaries between personal and professional life have been blurred as most services are provided via telehealth typically from a private space in one’s own home and with greater fluidity of schedule.  This results in an often jarring shift back and forth between personal stressors and concerns and those of the clients with very little buffer in between.

And yet…

Our team at Harbor has been unwavering throughout this challenging season – unwavering in their empathy, wisdom, patience, resilience, prayerfulness, and care.  They have also worked hard to ensure that they are being sustained in body, mind, and spirit while carrying the unique burdens of serving on the “front lines” of mental health during this time.  So to celebrate them, we wanted to highlight their voices and let them share their insights on how they have been managing to “survive” under the many pressures of the season.

To read the reflections shared by our team, click here to download our latest newsletter and sign up to receive our monthly newsletter at the bottom of this page. To learn more about this fantastic team, click here.