Written by Megan Farcas, LMHC CMHIMP (Clinical Supervisor, Senior Clinician)
"We’re a nation hungry for more joy: Because we’re starving from a lack of gratitude" — Brené Brown
Have you ever had a day where it seems that the world is against you and everything that could possibly go wrong has? If you were to step back and try to assess the day from an objective point of view, would that still be your conclusion? In our human nature, we tend to reflect on the negative, the frustrating, the disappointing. We wonder why we feel grumpy, angry, or irritable and often look for detailed, extravagant, sometimes expensive ways to help ourselves feel better. Yet the antidote to our lack of joy can often be found in the simple practice of gratitude. This practice of gratitude is one that is accessible to all yet rarely used in day-to-day life without intentionality.
Numerous studies have found gratitude to have significant positive impacts on anxiety, depressive symptoms, relationships, and physical health and well being. In their study, Wood et al had participants practice gratitude, which was defined as an orientation "towards noticing and appreciating the positive in the world.” In one portion of the study, they asked participants with high body dissatisfaction to spend each day practicing gratitude. By doing so 76% of the participants experienced a reduction in their body dissatisfaction compared to those who did not practice gratitude. Similarly, when studying those with high anxiety, participants who practiced gratitude were found to have a significant decrease in their worries (Wood, Froh & Geraghty, “Gratitude and Well-Being: A Review and Theoretical Integration,” Clinical Psychology Review).
Martin Seligman, a professor of psychology, has found similar results in his research as well. In his studies he developed one practice called a "gratitude visit" in which one writes a letter of gratitude to someone who has made a difference in their life and then visits the person and reads the letter to them out loud. In doing so, Seligman found that the person writing the letter had lasting positive feelings and felt happier up to a month after the visit.
Are there ways you can begin cultivating gratitude in your own life? Perhaps you can try Seligman’s exercise of a "gratitude visit." If this feels too uncomfortable, as an alternative you could consider writing a thank you note to someone you appreciate. Other ideas might be to end the day reflecting on three things to be grateful for, no matter how difficult the day was. Some find ways to break up their day to pause and gratefully reflect, such as "1,2,3,4" where at each hour you stop to identify a moment of gratitude. For those who pray, starting prayer with gratitude first can be a helpful way to reorient to a mindset of thankfulness rather than the frenzy of supplication we often approach prayer with.
The ultimate goal in cultivating gratitude is for it to become second nature, a natural reflection throughout the day. Realizing that you are grateful for the sunlight even if the weather is cold, that you are thankful your spouse helped with dishes even if it’s not how you would do it, that you had a great hair day even if nobody else saw it. You may find that over time you have retrained your brain to become more aware of positive moments, however seemingly mundane they may be.
(Scriptures that may be helpful to orient towards a reminder of gratitude and thanksgiving: Psalm 100, Psalm 118: 24, Psalm 103:2-5, Philippians 4:6-7, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)